Help I've fallen and I can't get up

Well, I know that we're supposed to respect our elders but I find this difficult. There have been many times that I have held a door open for an elderly person only to have another one let a door shut right in my face.

Hmmm... Money is being taken away from education... How can I respect my elders when they don't provide respect to the next generation?

I think it's pretty fucked up and selfish that youth is shown no respect. We are more intelligent and more accepting than our elders on average. We have millions of online friends who we've never met, who's skin color we don't even know.

Of course I'll still hold doors open, I'm not a dick like the old people. Respect is another story... I'll tell ya what, fix this country and I'll give you a lot of respect.

Here's a fun fact!

52.24% of Californians are homophobic.

Seriously... don't you have better things to concern yourselves with?

You do realize that allowing gay people to be married would help the economy right?

For the several months that it was legal for people of the same sex to get married, there were 18,000 that took advantage of it.

Holy shit, woulnd't that mean 18,000 weddings?

Don't weddings cost a lot of money?

Oh, and since I can't say it any better, here's a song from NOFX.

Best God in Show
By NOFX
"I’ve no consideration,
zero mutual respect
For billions who suffer from
rational thought neglect
I don’t wanna waste a sentence,
I don’t want a convert-sation
That’s gonna end in disdain,
disbelief and aggravation

And I find it’s getting harder to hang out
With grown adults who actually believe
In Santa Claus and Noah’s Ark
and that their god is the best
My distaste has turned into detest

Who would read a 2000
year old medical journal
Techniques for bloodletting,
advice on Trichinosis
Would you navigate the globe
with a map of a flat earth
Without DNA testing,
would you believe virgin birth

And I find it’s getting painful to put up
With grown adults who actually believe
In Unicorns and Creation,
and God always takes their side
That’s when my innocent jabbing turns snide

Thank God for the Grammy,
thank God for the touchdown
Thank God for blowing up
the enemy’s sacred ground

So how am I supposed to take
anything you say seriously?
When you’ve swapped free will for faith,
how and pre-destiny

And it’s getting agonizing to hang out
With grown adults who actually believe
Mythology and history
trump physics and science
My aversion has turned to abhorrence "

No... Fucking... Way...

"With a record-setting 'almost 100 million' votes the new Idol is..."

Wait... 130 million people voted in the 2008 presidential election...

Hmm... I wonder why this country is so fucked up...

iTunes "Genius"

I've been using iTunes for quite a while, not really by choice, but because I have a Mac and can't use anything else because I'm not a nerd.

iTunes isn't the best program ever, but it's not the worst. I like some of the basic features like play count and how it kind of organizes my music, but over all it's nothing special.

So when I heard about genius, I didn't think much of it because it just seemed like a way to sell more music. I even played with it a few times and got confused and never used it again.

Then my computer broke and I had to take it into an Apple store to be repaired. Without the Apple care it would have cost me $800, but I have Apple care for 3 years so I paid nothing!

When I finally got my computer back up and running I decided to give genius a try. It's actually really cool, but I don't think it will work for everyone.

The cool thing about genius is that it kind of makes play lists that capture the essence of a time period. Sure not all the songs are from that time period, but they all fit in, it's like a good radio station.

The reason this won't work for everyone is because you need a shit load of music to ensure you get a variety of songs and artists for each mix. If you only have a couple hundred songs, your play list is going to sound like it was created by Clear Channel.

I have about 200 different artists on my computer consisting of about 6,000 songs. I have an additional 40,000 songs on a hard drive, so yeah, I'm pretty awesome... But this is 2009, who the fuck doesn't have 40,000 songs on a hard drive?

So, if you're tired of listening to the same songs from the same artists, and you want to dive deeper into your intimidating music collection, you should give genius a try.

We're all fucked!

UPDATE!! We are now at threat level 5! Two weeks till the end of the world...

Have you heard of the swine flu? If you haven't, there is something wrong with you... do you know how to read? Well, I guess if you answered that question, you probably know how to read, and therefore you probably heard about the swine flu.

Naming these things is always interesting, but I just think we need to move on from Britney Spears, we all know she's a pig, but to name a flu that could go pandemic after her is just cruel.

So, are you scared of the flu? Has the media done it's job? IT'S A FUCKING FLU!!! 35,000 people die from the "normal" flu every year, why the fuck should we care so much about this? The only people that will die from it are the same people who would die from the normal flu... PEOPLE WHO ARE ALREADY SICK.

You wanna know how to not get the swine flu? Wash your fucking hands you filthy pig fuckers!!! And if you get sick, then enjoy your week of watching movies and eating Jello.

There is nothing to be worried about, stop being such a baby.

P.S. I'm really bummed that last week was the end of the first half of the season for South Park. This would have been great for them to make fun of.

Oops, I forgot about September 11th.

"On April 27, 2009 an Air Force One backup plane, which did not have the president onboard, performed a very low flyover of New York City accompanied by an F-16 fighter. The aim of the mission, according to Caldera, was to get a publicity photo of the official plane against a backdrop of the Statue of Liberty."

Wikipedia

And here's a real news source to prove I didn't make that up and put it in Wikipedia, what kind of a person would do that?
Real News


Do you know what we can learn from this? Idiots are running the country!

Do you know why Paris Hilton looks slightly less repulsive in this picture?

ADOBE PHOTOSHOP!!! C'mon Lewis Caldera, did you really not know that you could Photo Shop a picture of the Statue of Liberty behind a picture of Air Force One? Are you also so simple-minded that you didn't realize this would freak people out? You do remember what happened a few years ago right?

They spent over $60,000 on this photo opp.

Well it's better than having to read another pig flu story.

(note to self... write pig fucker... I mean pig flu story tomorrow)

Kanye West, you're a little crazy, but I like you.

You might be a little crazy and full of yourself, but hey, business is business and it's how someone interacts with the world that counts.

The fact that he's able to say George Bush doesn't care about black people. Or that he can see the connection between African Americans fighting for their rights, and then understand what gay people are dealing with. If you can go from discriminating against anything to accepting it, then you can call yourself Jesus all you want.